What does it really mean when someone asks us/we tell ourselves to “control your emotions”

I had this urge to share my thoughts about what does it really mean when someone says “CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS”

And when we get the opportunity to guide someone who goes through an outburst, we give them the same suggestion we follow.

“CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS”

How we mentally grasp it?

We try to avoid those emotions, distracting ourselves from doing different chores, trying to forget.

But what does this really mean??/

“FEEL YOUR SHIT, UNDERSTAND YOUR SHIT, BUT DON’T LOSE YOUR SHIT.”

Yes.

Emotional Outbursts comes with different depths, some manifests out of really small incidents, some are really deep. The way we regulate those emotions plays a major role in maintaining our emotional wellbeing.

Unlike small children, who must learn to feel their emotions, get nurtured when they go through negative emotions. Adults are expected to do the opposite, to be able to manage or distract theirs, especially emotions like anxiety and anger — in a manner that is socially acceptable personally beneficial.⁣

Most of today’s society’s reaction would be “grow up! don’t cry like a baby.”

“Shh.. everyone’s looking at you.⁣ It’s weird.”

When you avoid your emotions and the cause behind them and try various ways to distract yourself, It will keep leading to outbursts. Distractions are temporary. But avoiding heavy emotions keep popping up when your mind is free.

Emotional dysregulation occurs when a person cannot maintain a standard of control. When this happens, they often regret the things they say or do and wish they had been able to keep those emotions in check.⁣
⁣
Techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, gratitude journaling and stress management can help one take charge of negative emotions and ameliorate one’s response to emotional situations. These techniques can also provide other benefits, like improved mood, increased feelings of self-worth, and increased empathy.

It is far healthier to “lean into” your experiences of pain, rather than trying to numb your emotions. ⁣

There are many reasons, here I will give you just three reasons.

1. When you numb sadness, you also numb happiness and joy⁣
2. Struggling with your emotions often leads to more suffering.⁣
3. Processing and experiencing your feelings is part of having a full life.⁣

Suggest the above techniques to the people who are going through tough times with their emotions and show some love by being there for them. Giving them warm bear hugs and back rubs. Give everything you genuinely can but let’s not spread fake positivity or invalidate what they go through. We don’t have the right to belittle someone’s feelings. Everybody needs healthy recovery and support.